The Howe Twins Bust Out On Their Birthday
Here’s my favorite pair of awesome pairs, Carla and Melissa Howe, out celebrating their birthday by rocking some serious cleavage, drinking straight from the bottle, and letting some lucky girl pretend to motorboat them. I think I just figured out what my own birthday wish is going to be this year. So enjoy the twin hotness, because from everything I’ve seen in movies, as soon as I blow out that candle, it’s going to be all mine.
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Photos: WENN.com
Kate Upton’s Profile Gives Her Away
I guess Kate Upton is trying to lay low while she figures out how to steal the hottest bustiest blonde title away from Helen Flanagan, because here she is going relatively incognito. I know most people wouldn’t recognize Kate while she’s wearing clothes, but it’s still not a great disguise. Those funbags are a dead giveaway, especially for someone who’s spent so much time studying them like me. So Kate might as well just change into a bikini, since she’s not fooling anyone anyway. Please?
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Photos: PacificCoastNews
Malena Costa Will Soon Be Moaning For Herbal Essences
I don’t know a lot about Malena Costa other than that she’s hot and that she’s been named the new face for Herbal Essences in Madrid, which means we’ll soon be getting to see her O face on TV. Anybody know if there’s a way to set my DVR to record only Spanish commercials? I’d better call my cable provider. I definitely don’t want to miss this.
Photos: PacificCoastNews
Melissa Riso Bikini Pictures
Let these pictures be a lesson to all you wannabe models/actresses, forget agents or auditions. The best way to get noticed is to do an awesome bikini photoshoot, like Melissa Riso here. And the second-best way is to start a no strings attached relationship with a blogger. So Melissa should probably give me a call. You know, just to make sure she’s got all her bases covered. It’s pretty competitive out there.
Photos: FameFlynet
Anna Faris’ Impressive T-shirt Mounds
We don’t get to see much of Anna Faris on this site, which is a shame, because she’s a pretty underrated hottie as far as I’m concerned. I mean, just take one look at those T-shirt mounds and tell me why the paparazzi aren’t following her every move jiggle, or staking out her beach vacations. Anyway, I don’t know why Anna isn’t more famous, but I’d like to change that. Isn’t it about time we gave her a pass on all those terrible Scary Movies and focused on what’s really important: her funbags?
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Photos: PacificCoastNews
Doutzen Kroes Bikini Swimwear Pictures For H&M
I’ve probably mentioned this before, but Doutzen Kroes has the second-best supermodel booty in the world — after Candice Swanepoel, of course. So I was glad to see that H&M made sure to feature Doutzen’s best asset in their swimwear photoshoot. I just wish they’d given us more than one picture of it. It’s like going to the Louvre and only being allowed to see the Mona Lisa for two seconds. Luckily though, we can all stare at this shot for as long as we want. I don’t know about you, but I plan on clearing my schedule for the rest of the day. This just became my top priority.
Selena Gomez Likes Them Real Young!
So Selena Gomez won’t go out with me, but apparently she will go on a date with a 14-year-old, because here she is trying to dodge the paparazzi while she grabs dinner with Jaden Smith. Real nice. Anyway I get it, I’d be covering my face too if I was with a 14-year-old. Actually, scratch that, I’d be in jail. So I’d probably be covering something else, if you know what I mean.
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Photos: WENN.com
Penelope Simpson Lingerie Pictures
Here’s super cute and curvy model Penelope Simpson modelling Bravissimo Lingerie. You know there are so many lingerie companies out there now, it’s really hard to keep track of them all, but I guess that’s a good thing since we get to discover all these unknown hotties. Anyway, Penelope has all the right stuff, in all the right places which I believe are the ideal prerequisites for a future ex-Mrs. Tuna. Email me.
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