Guess Who Kissed The Momma O’s Face!
What an honor!
If we were her, we’d never wash that cheek again!
Oprah Winfrey recently took to the interwebz to show off a very special lipstick stain she had planted right on her cheek from none other than our beloved Lady GaGa, who made a visit to her show for a surprise performance, set to air next Thursday!
Check out the clip (above)!
Surprises can be pretty awesome, but a GaGa SURPRISE?! Damn, that must be epic!
We can’t wait to see the show! Lord knows our Mother Monster is going to pull out all of the stops!
So exciting!
Open Post: Hosted By ASkars
After a day full of technicolor wedding hat bukkake, you might be craving something simple like pictures of Alexander Skarsgard talking on the phone after lonche in L.A. yesterday, so here’s some simple pictures of Alexander Skarsgard talking on the phone after lonche in L.A. yesterday. Not sure who’s hanging on to his ear, but he seems into it. Maybe he’s telling Kate Bosworth that he really can’t wait to get home and use her salad tong legs to toss the lettuce (not a euphemism). But then again, he could be gnawing on his soul while trying to communicate with his credit card company’s customer service. Like me yesterday!
You know, when I call to make a payment, you’d think that they would want me to put out and get out before I change my mind. It’s such a rare occasion that I actually make a payment (I’m joking! No, I’m not!) ! But they don’t, they always have to try to sell me Segway insurance or anal cavity protection or whatever. When I tell them no, they push. When I tell them I’m vulnerable and making a payment to them is a very hard thing for me to swallow, they push harder. And when I finally hang up on them and they’re forced to spend their lunch hour reporting me to collections, I only blame them for this! It’s their fault they can’t enjoy their cheese and mayo sandwich in the lunch room with the others! They just couldn’t let me be!
Yeah, that’s totally what ASkars is doing.
On another note, unless January Jones decides to mix headlines by revealing that the father of her baby is Prince Philip, this will be my last post of the day. I’m in Texas so there’s drunken pedicab rides to be had and I must terrorize what’s left of my bowels with massive amounts of fried everything. Yay!
Watch The Royal Wedding Live HERE!
Click here….
http://perezhilton.com/category/royals-royce/
http://perezhilton.com/category/royals-royce/
http://perezhilton.com/category/royals-royce/
http://perezhilton.com/category/royals-royce/
Watch Tonight!
Tune in Nene Leakes & Perez as they host THE ONLY royal wedding special you need to watch, “William + Kate Forever”, premiering this evening, April 29th, at 7 pm on Wedding Central and also at 9 pm on We TV.
You won’t wanna miss it!!!!
Royal Wedding Programming Note
Believe it or not, there’s actually other weddings happening this weekend and my ass just so happens to be going to one in what most people call the England of America: TEXAS! No, I won’t be ching ching-ing champagne flutes with the Princess of Moldavia like the royals will be, but I will definitely will be toasting to the bride and groom at the wedding I’m going to with plastic cups full of red wine and Coke, so who’s the real winner here? Thankyouverymuch!
My flight keeps getting delayed for obvious reasons, but hopefully I’ll get into Texas in time to score some street meth, snort a few lines of chopped up No-Doz and get myself nice and perky for an all-morning highblogging binge OF THE EVENT OF THE CENTURY YEAR MONTH WEEK WEEKEND (after the Texas royal wedding I’m going to, of course).
I will be co-liveblogging here at Dlisted with the fancies of The Morton Report beginning at 4am east coast time. They’ll probably be the ones pointing out all the details while I incoherently ramble on as usual about how I got Chelsy Davy’s numbah, etc! I’ll be operating on natural craziness and gas station coffee, so I’ll look how that Prince William wax figure feels. Or is it I’ll feel how that Prince William wax figure looks? Shit, I’m already fucked up. Until then!
QOTD: Morrissey Is Not Hosting A Royal Wedding Viewing Party, So Don’t Ask!
If you would rather scream out Prince Charles’ name during tampon sex than talk about who’s going to design Kate Middleton’s royal wedding garter belt, then have a seat next to Morrissey, because nobody’s more over it than he is. Methinks the BBC Radio 5 knew this which is why they asked him if he’s going to clutch at his bosom when Prince William gives Kate Middleton (or Kate Muddleton as Moz calls her) a “just married” lick in front of billions of people.
“Why would I watch the wedding? Why would I watch it? I couldn’t take any of that seriously. I don’t think the so-called Royal family speak for England now, and I don’t think England needs them. I do seriously believe that they are benefit scroungers, nothing else. I don’t believe they serve any purpose whatsoever.
I’m not an anarchist, but I believe that people don’t want the Royal family — the so-called Royal family. They’re not royal to me, but they’re royal to the media for some reason.
The press reports from Buckingham tell you that people love them, but go out and speak to people on the streets and they will laugh at you. They really will.”
Why didn’t BBC radio put a camera on his face before they asked him that question? The look he gave probably would’ve made the Queen herself scurry under a priest’s gown. Get those welfare whores (except Prince Hot Ginge), Moz! You just know that while Morrissey is punching out a sequel to The Queen is Dead he’s going to peek at the TV with one eye to see what kind of chiffon meringue mess Kate has on her body. I won’t tell.
MORE GaGavision! Episode 44!
“Fight on, little pony!”
Ha! We LOVE it!
Check out the latest episode of GaGavision, no. 44, featuring our Mother Monster in the studio, and then preparing for her performance of Judas on The Ellen DeGeneres Show (above)!
And what is this that we hear?! Perhaps the instrumental and brief snippets of a NEW SONG off of Born This Way?!
We certainly hope so! Because if it is, it sounds AMAZEBALLS!
It’s coming so soon! We can’t wait!
Speaking Of Terrifying Royal Teefs…..
Some people choose to spend their hard-earned cash on neck acne treatment or tooth gloss, but this 29-year-old plumber from Bristol decided to hand over £1,000 for Prince Wills and Kate Middleton “gnasher tats.” Barmy Baz Franks’ (only a Barmy Baz Franks would do this shit) obsession with the royal wedding led him to a dentist chair where he spent 6 hours getting tiny decals of William & Kate pasted to the front of his chompers. Barmy Baz Franks will spend the next 3 months hearing “Oh, you’ve got a little royal in your teeth” from people who really want to say “Dumbass.”
I just used my credit card to buy my dog a pair of clearance bin bunny ears, so who am I to judge someone on how they should spend their coins? But really? If you’re going to turn your built-in Chiclets (or “mouth nails” as my little cousin calls them) into a tribute to our royal teethnesses, you could at least make sure it looks like them! Prince William looks like Sarah Jessica Parker as Black Swan and Kate Middleton looks like Iggy Pop after a root canal.
And does anybody know if this dentist also does royal decals on another part of the body that is pretty much dead and could use a little dressing up with Prince Harry’s face? <--- That brings a whole new meaning to "gnasher tats.“