Night Crumbs
Here comes the Cheetoling: Bridesmaid Brit Brit subtlety throwing a “Ah wonder if he smells my weddin’ fart?” side-eye – The Berry
Nicole Kidman needs to borrow some of her husband’s pomade - Lainey Gossip
The rest of the world can learn something from Brazil: BOOO Ashton & Demi whenever you get the chance – The Superficial
Jonathan Knight re-comes out for those who missed it the first time – Towleroad
When you gotta get your smack up, you gotta get your smack up – NYC Barstool Sports
Christina Hendrick’s magnificent chichis were a little shy last night – Hollywood Tuna
But Sofia Vergara’s were not – Popoholic
The Tila Tequila lesbian sex tape you haven’t been waiting for is here (NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather
Don’t mind Katie Couric, she’s just picking the chest pubes out of her mouth – Celebitchy
John Travolta has just signed up to be a contestant on Total Blackout - TDW
Carey Mulligan’s got a new piece – Popsugar
David Arquette’s out of rehab – Just Jared
That New Year’s Eve movie has already won a handful of Razzies and it hasn’t even started production – ICYDK
What Kunty Karl really meant is that he’s finally found a human who doesn’t completely die when he sucks the blood from their peen – OMG Blog
I guessed Kim Vo – City Rag
Eva Longoria and Tony Parker have officially chopped chopped the ball off the chain - I’m Not Obsessed
The Twinkie stuffed Ken Doll is off Dancing with the Has-Beens for now – SOW
How many gay feather dusters had to die for this dress? - Moe Jackson
(Image via INFDaily)
SNL Pulls in Record Ratings With Jesse Eisenberg & Minajesty!
Faboosh!
According to the numbers, Saturday Night Live’s telecast this weekend with host Jesse Eisenberg and musical guest Nicki Minaj tied for 2nd highest 18-49 rating of the season.
Pulling in a 3.2 rating, the show tied with this season’s premiere and trails only Jim Carrey’s episode that aired earlier this month.
Amazing! Nicki killed it, so we’re glad to hear people were tuning in for that! (In case you missed it, check her Minajesty out above!)
Were U all watching on Saturday night?
Gorgeous In So Many Ways
There’s no need for you to contact Madame Tussauds’ security office to let them know that their wax statue of Voldemort escaped out of their building, disguised itself as a Thai transgirl lounge singer and is slowly melting into a puddle. This is just the forever beautiful Spaz de la Huerta blowing air kisses at the press after winning an award for best ensemble with her Boardwalk Empire castmates at the SAG Awards last night. How many members of the media do you think are still in the bathroom scrubbing the lipstick stains out of their skin? When Spaz throws you a lipstick-covered air kiss, you better block it with a piece of Bounty or you will end up getting intimate with a can of paint remover for a few hours.
That lipstick color is usually something you only find in the pocket of a chola’s Starter jacket. One of my junior high school chola friends described that color as a “dirty tampon” or a “dried blood clot.” Since she put it that way, that lipstick is a whole new shade of lovely to you, right? But on Spaz, I’d like to say that lipstick looks more like Charlie Sheen’s liquefied liver, or the melted heart of a black Pegasus.
It’s really an ingenious way to know which cocktail is yours at a party, because that lipstick leaves more than a mark. Oh, mine’s the one that looks like Tar Monster busted a bloody wet fart on it.
Here’s Spaz politely taking the mic from Steve Buscemi last night to thank whoever and to say the word “phenomenal” like she just learned it yesterday.
And the POSES! You couldn’t even learn those moves at a John Robert Powers master class taught by Phoebe Price!
Listen To This: Our New Anthem!
THIS is soooo hot!
Kat Graham has released her new single, called I Want It All, which is an uptempo power pop song she wrote and is produced by hitmaker J.R. Rotem (Britney Spears, Nicki Minaj).
We LOVE it!!!!
So inspiring!!!
Such a catchy chorus!!!
You will be singing along before the song is over!
CLICK HERE to listen to Kat Graham‘s I Want It All!
Dear China
THIS sucks!!!
THIS sucks!!!
THIS sucks!!!
Pitbull Would Be Proud!
Chyeah!
Check out 8-year-old Internet sensation MattyB‘s remake of Pitbull and T-Pain’s Hey Baby (above)!
So Lovely!
The headline says it all!
Check out this lovely cover of Coldplay‘s classic Yellow by Sara Bareilles (above)!
Henry Cavill Is The New Superman
Because only hot pieces of British ass can play superheroes (see Christian Bale & Andrew Garfield), Henry Cavill, who may have made your nipples burn and your cod piece hot in The Tudors, will stuff his goods into a pair of shiny blue spandex tights to play Superman (or as my abuelita calls him, superguapo!). Zack Snyder (director of 300, Sucker Punch and Watchmen) is directing the latest redo of Superman and he had this to say about Henry:
“In the pantheon of superheroes, Superman is the most recognized and revered character of all time, and I am honored to be a part of his return to the big screen. I also join Warner Bros., Legendary and the producers in saying how excited we are about the casting of Henry. He is the perfect choice to don the cape and S shield.”
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Zack. Save some of those fancy words for when you announce you’re going to direct a live-action IMAX 3D spectacular version of She-Ra starring Shauna Sand. But YAY and all that for Henry. Hopefully, his career turns out better than the last dude who played Superman in a movie. Shit will work out for Henry as long as he doesn’t make the same mistake Brandon Routh made which is to play a fully clothed Superman. Seriously, it’s 2011 and we’re due for a nekkid ass nekkid Superman! It’s a bird! It’s a peen!
via Variety