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Dear Chezza, Is That Sound What We Think It Is?
Well excuse YOU, bb!
LOLz!
Check out (above) this clip from this weekend’s X Factor of the usually dainty and demure Cheryl Cole shamelessly possibly letting one rip while critiquing Cher Lloyd!
How ladylike! Ha!
Regardless of whether it’s real or not, we’re OBSESSED!
Thoughts??
Xtina Gets Her Star
Don’t you worry, there’s no need to throw a panty over your eyes, because no Xtina labia is visible from here. I mean, do you see a second pair of red lacquered lips puckering at you from down below? Xtina always makes sure her lips match. She’s a lady like that. Maybe she’s wearing flesh-colored vagina Spanx, or maybe she sprayed her cooch with equal parts bronzer, pancake make-up and whatever they color Barbie’s skin with so it matches the rest of her body. Who knows.
On Hollywood Blvd. this afternoon, Xtina gracefully lounged on the sidewalk next to her star while her mom and younger brother watched all proud-like. The fact that Xtina looks like “Hatchet Face after a Swan makeover” doesn’t make me ignore her parched eyebrow situation.
I don’t understand why she keeps doing this to herself! Xtina covers almost every one of her pores with enough grease to keep Tommy Girl’s no-no in business for years yet she can’t throw a little moisture on her brows. It’s like she dusted her brows with the ashy charcoal my mom hasn’t cleaned from her Weber in decades. Only Vincent Price is allowed to have brows like that. Come on, Xtina, put some Sharpie on it!
X Factor: We Must Say That…
We don’t like her at all, but….
Katie Waissel gave her first good performance of the competition when she sang Save Me From Myself for survival on Sunday.
Vulnerable, raw, honest, passionate and quite truly very lovely.
Check it out (above)!
A New Diva Queen Has Arrived
Cee Lo looks like the weekday pastor at The Church of Saint Andre Leon Talley the Divine and he’s also sashaying right next to the diva queen spirit of ALT. Page Six says that Cee Lo, who is having a moment by telling all of us to FUCK OFF, is more like a JLo, because the teddy bear princess is way too precious to handle his own gum and pat the pore jizz from his forehead. From P6:
Cee Lo Green makes some interesting demands of his handlers. At the release party for his new album, “Lady Killer,” at the W New York Thursday, Cee Lo arrived on the red carpet in a white cape. “He had someone wipe the sweat from his brow, as well as put a piece of gum in his mouth, before the show,” a spy said.
And look at him standing there wearing Aretha Franklin’s lace bibs as a cape all royal-like. But you know, I’d like to think that Cee Lo’s lady-in-waiting had the last laugh when they gently dusted his gum with one of their farts before placing it in his mouth. Cee Lo was wondering why his gum had the slightest flavor of brisket and eggs.
LeAnn Rimes’ Ex-Husband Is Engaged…
TO A WOMAN!
And here’s a name I didn’t think I’d hear from again unless it was followed by the words “arrested in a glory hole raid, reports The National Enquirer.” UsWeekly confirms that Dean Sheremet, the dude LeAnn Rimes dropped to ride on Eddie Cibrian’s dick full time, is promised to be married to his photographer girlfriend Sarah Silver. Dean slipped a ring on Sarah’s finger on Friday morning in their NYC apartment. Dean used to dance for a living but now he’s an expert at handling raw fish as a chef at Nobu.
You know he’s only marrying her ass so that he can take her last name and become DAVID SILVER, his icon. He’s soooo going to sing “Be, Be, Be My Love” as his vows. This is a valid reason for marriage.
And since the Falcor of Mississippi lives for a reason to blow the Twitter bird, she Tweeted out her congratulations and also claimed that she’s not trying to redirect Dean’s spotlight on her. LeAnn had this to say:
Congrats to @deansheremet and @sarah_silver on your engagement! A little birdie told me the happy news last night. Wishes for a life full of happiness.
@mar_ine my congrats is from my heart. Sorry if you don’t understand it. I do not need the publicity, I get plenty. please stop passing judgement
Uh huh. LeAnn has already “stolen” a bitch’s husband, 50% from 100% , and now she’s stealing Dean Rainbow Sherbet’s shine! Nail everything down, because LeAnn is stealing everything up in here!