Lindsay Lohan Finally Kisses A Bitch Who Looks Her Own Age
LiLo is not kissing on Roberto Cavalli because she loves the feel of charbroiled flesh against her collage-stuffed worm lips. LiLo is trying to distract Roberto while her hand snatches his wallet. And since sticky fingers (in more ways than one) LiLo is such a pro, bitch also managed to get her hands between Roberto’s ass crack and pull a diamond stud off of his ass lips without him noticing. Who ever said the ho doesn’t have talents?
But seriously now, LiLo should pose next to Roberto more often, because his sun-dried tomato complexion makes her skin look somewhat clean. Usually, I have take several moist towelettes to my monitor after going through pictures of LiLo. And I only had to do that once (see the last picture) this time!
Here’s more of the hardest working non-worker in the business partying it up with Robert Cavalli in Milan over the weekend.
Surprise! A-Rod Dumps Another Girl
This bitch just refuses to settle down, doesn’t he?
A-Rod has dumped his girlfriend of two seconds, Elaine Spottswood, for being “too clingy”!
Friends close to the male ho say he and Elaine would spend time together at the gym every day, but told buds Elaine was getting too close, so, of course, “he had to end it with her.”
Commitment-phobe!
Don’t U agree????
[Image via Mavrix Online.]
You’re So Vain NOT About David Geffen!
The inspiration behind You’re So Vain is still a mystery!
Upon hearing the entire world had “figured out” that the 1971 hit was about label boss David Geffen, Carly Simon couldn’t keep quiet!
“What a riot! Nothing to do with David Geffen! What a funny mistake! Someone got a clue mistaken for another mistake!” says Carly.
Damn!
Do we have to wait another 30 years to guess again??
[Image via WENN.]
Will Sigourney Return For Avatar 2?
(Just in case… Avatar SPOILER ALERT below!)
And how???
Sigourney Weaver revealed on Parisian television this past week that James Cameron has every intention of including her character, Dr. Grace Augustine, in the Avatar sequel!
But wasn’t Dr. Grace Augustine shot and killed in the film?????
Weaver says that Dr. Grace still exists “in the tree” and Jimmy is thinking of ways to “keep the family together” for number two.
Thoughts????
[Image via WENN.]
Kiss My Ass!
Whitney Houston rolled into Sydney Airport this morning looking like the crazy lady in your neighborhood who hacks at her front yard weeds with a kitchen knife at 12 in the morning, and threatens to shoot you with a BB gun if you try to pet one of her 80 cats. DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!
There’s no need to get on the phone with Dr. Drew just yet. Whitney looks raggedy rough, because she spent the entire night looking for her hairline and she still hasn’t found it.
Either that, or one of her infamous doody bubbles is being stubborn and refuses to pop! Where’s Bobby B’s finger when you need it?
Blame JLove
Jennifer Love Hewitt recently told George Lopez of all people about how she regularly vagazzles her chocha and recommends that every woman join her. Well, Bryce Gruber from the Luxury Spot got vajazzled at a salon in NYC to see what the hell that moron JLove is raving about.
I learned a few things while watching this enlightening video. First of all, they shouldn’t call it vagazzling, because the crystals don’t actually touch your puss. They should call it fupazzling.
Second of all, getting fupazzled really limits all the sexual positions you can do with your fuck time partner. Well, unless your fuck partner gets off on getting scratched the hell up by sharp objects.
Third of all, the fupazzling makers should really market this towards crazed Twitards, because this looks like a syphilis rash you would get from Edward Cullen.
Fourth of all, the “look 4 less” version of this can be achieved using an old stencil, a can of silver spray paint and a handful of craft glitter.
via Buzzfeed
Casting For The Russian Jersey Shore!
Now that Jersey Shore is one of the most talked about shows on TV, producer Elina Miller is capitalizing on the stereotypes of privileged ethnic communities in a knock off show based on the Russian-Americans in NYC’s Brighton Beach community.
The casting notice says:
“Are you the Russian Snooki or The Situation? Are you a super outgoing and fun-loving Russian-American that sometimes sneaks kalbaska, pel’meni and vodka from the fridge? Can people hear the Euro/Techno/Russian music blasting from your car before they see you pull up? … The cameras will roll as you do what you do best—eat, drink and PARTY. Here’s who we’re looking for: Outgoing guys and girls between the ages of 21 and 30 who would be willing to spend one summer living in an all-expense paid digs in the New York City area and consider themselves to be Russian-American (or from the former U.S.S.R, including the Caucasus). We’re searching for people throughout the entire U.S. including: NYC, Miami, Cleveland, Chicago, L.A., San Francisco and beyond. You must love attention and be the opposite of camera-shy…..”
Brighton Beach, which is known as Little Odessa, has one of the largest Russian communities next to Moscow. Yet, the producer claims she has no attention of accentuating stereotypes.
“While some of the stereotypes may have merit, I’m trying to show that [the community is] a lot more complex,” said Miller. “One thing that’s common across all cultures is the desire young people have to have fun, to unleash.”
No one can compare to the glory of Snooki! Sounds like a big mistake!
[Image via WENN.]
The Itchiest Bitch
If you just got back from Sunday service where you drank all the Blood of Christ, snorted a handful of crushed down communion wafers and free-based holy water in the bathroom, turn around and go back to do it all again. Save yourself and don’t click “play” on this video above. It will only leave you with itchy retinas and a million unanswered questions.
World Star Hip Hop says that some mysterious character sent them this video featuring pictures of the rapper Trina, the self-proclaimed “baddest bitch,” in all her whory glory. The mystery dude, who disguised his voice for this mess, claims the pictures are from Trina’s cell phone.
The most terrifying part of this video isn’t Trina’s hernia nipples or her pussy on a bed of crusty caca. It’s picture after picture of a nasty ass rash! The mystery dude says she caught the rash doing some nasty red light shit, but it looks like hives to me. Nothing more. And honestly, the vagina and rash pictures could be of anyone.
I just had to share this with you, so I’m not the only one giving themselves a Calamine sponge bath today.
And are we sure this isn’t a lost scene from Saw?
via ONTD
Super GaGa Saves The Day
Wowsa!
GaGa tapped into her inner futuristic superhero while leaving her show in London this weekend!
Gagaloo’s PVC trimmed onesie was outfitted with a small video camera, no doubt for a new project the Lady has in mind.
Wonder what it’ll be????
[Image via WENN.]
Rapper Juvenile Arrested For Pot Possession!
Rapper Juvenile needs to keep his smokey-smokey a lil’ more well concealed!
The 34-year-old Slow Motion rapper was arrested in New Orleans on Thursday after cops found pot which he fessed up to possessing!
A narc-y neighbor called the police when he smelled marijuana smoke coming from the house Juvenile was recording music in.
Hmmm!
Police were able to obtain a search warrant for the residence and came across a bag of weed in a kitchen drawer.
The rapper was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of marijuana possession and was released on bond later that night.
Way to harsh that mellow!
[Image via David Livingston/WENN.]